The French roast of the town

Berkeley ordinance would ban all but politically correct coffee

Berkeley, a place passionate about coffee and progressive politics, could become the only city in the nation to ban coffee not grown with strict protections for workers and the environment.

The proposed ban -- contained in an initiative crafted by a lawyer one year out of law school -- has gathered enough valid signatures to qualify for the November ballot, City Clerk Sherry Kelly announced Thursday.

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"When I'm drinking my coffee, I'd rather not be destroying the environment or exploiting workers," said Berkeley lawyer Rick Young, 36, who graduated last year from UC Berkeley's Boalt law school, where he wrote a paper on the legality of such a law. He turned in petitions containing about 3,000 signatures Monday.

There's a reason.... No, scratch that. There are reasons why it's referred as the People's Republic of Berzerkley.

The mayor's comments are lovely, that such a ban would probably be illegal but she support's such goals. Young, the proposal's author, compares such a ban to seat-belt laws and banned leaded gasoline. But what a silly no-no! Frankly, I oppose seat-belt laws because if you want to let yourself get tossed out of the car, crushed, etc., go right ahead; of course, your insurance company should then be able to go, "Oops, no coverage!"

As the leaded gasoline, that "ban" evolved out of a natural drop in consumption as more and more cars came equipped with catalytic converters, emission control devices that are murdered when leaded gasoline is used. This "ban" was actually to the benefit of the refineries, which had one less fuel type to produce and maintain.

I can see the police now. Imagine a SWAT raid on Starbuck's (which, incidentally, sells "fair trade" coffee that would remain legal). A scene like the one in "Minority Report" would be cool, four black jump-suited, helmeted soldiers for justice, dropping in through the ceiling, MP-5's at the ready. "Drop the coffee, drop the coffee!" Spilled cups everywhere, officer steps in puddle, slips, gun discharges, beans go flying, cups shattering, evil proprietor hit by a burst, Fascist bastard anyway, responsible for so many deaths....

Most of the 14 Mexican immigrants who were smuggled across the U.S. border and died in the Arizona desert last May came from the bleak coffee industry in Veracruz, she [Deborah James, fair-trade director for Global Exchange] said, and coffee growers in Colombia are pulling up their plants and growing coca for cocaine instead.

See? Bastards!

Anyway, for those with raging interest, there's always www.geocities.com/coffeelawinfo/, the web site the proposal's author maintains.