Jackson's King Ko-uhhh-Zzzzz....

I admit it. I was pre-disposed to not like Peter Jackson's King Kong.

Like Jackson, I'm a big fan of the original 1933 version. Heck, I even like a few moments in the 1976 rendition, which is otherwise pretty awful. But when Dino de Laurentis announced he was remaking the fabled film, he made no pretense of being some great lover of the original. Oh, he liked it, and said so, but compare with Jackson, who made the original sound like his mother. Now, I love my mother, and I'm sure Jackson loves his mother, but I'd never want to make love with my mother. Jackson, on the other hand....

Oh, that's harsh. Let's concentrate on the film instead.

Watching the first third of Jackson's film is seeing a man obsessed with himself. There are plenty of coy moments, but since Jackson takes us back to the time at which the original was made, 2005 begs comparison with 1933. And 1933 kicks 2005's ass.

Jackson takes a full 30 minutes to do what Cooper and Schoedsack did in 10 or less. Worse, the expasion adds precisely zip. It's just showing off a digitally recreated New York of the 1930's. The original film is on Skull Island within 20 minutes, Jackson takes over and hour. And while 2005 won an Oscar for visual effects it all feel relentlessly fake. The lighting never seems right. Ugh.

I stopped watching when Kong snatched Ann. All interest was lost. It was all remarkably uninvolving. The snatch was nicely done, with Kong all in shadow and mist, but Rick Baker as man-in-a-suit Kong from 1976 does better. Maybe when I try and watch again, I'll get more into it, but frankly I like Baker's man-in-a-suit Kong better than Jackson's CGI rendition. And for sheer emotional enjoyment, the 1933 Kong rules.

Other things bother the crap out of me. Max Steiner's score from 1933 is worthy of orchestral presentation. John Barry's score from 1976 is one of his best, and easily the finest thing in the film. James Newton Howard has the thankless task of following in their footsteps, and he doesn't come into his own until the arrival on the island. His gentle score underlying Hayes' recitation from Conrad's Heart of Darkness is superb; in fact, that gentle bit of film is the best thing in whole first hour. It is certainly a juicy, forboding quote:

We could not understand because we were too far and could not remember because we were traveling in the night of first ages, of those ages that are gone, leaving hardly a sign - and no memories. The earth seemed unearthly. We are accustomed to look upon the shackled form of a conquered monster, but there - there you could look at a thing monstrous and free.

I have a certain faith that in the next two hours of the film, Howard's music continues to improve.

But I don't know, not yet. As the mighty crew takes off into the jungle in pursuit of Kong and Ann, I eject the disk and look for something else to watch. Ah, there it is, my new 50th anniversary version of The Ten Commandments.